As you might have seen I was recently fat shamed on LinkedIn. I made a couple of posts about it which you can see here and here .
When it comes to bullying the first thing people usually attack is how the other person looks. How many times have you heard something like the following:
You’re so fat!
You're ugly!
You’re gay!
This incident really got me thinking about the words we use to describe ourselves and others. Far too often we describe ourselves and others in terms of how we look:
He’s so muscular!
She’s so skinny!
They have really nice teeth!
The same is true when it comes to complimenting others! Have you heard or said something like the following to a friend, family member, or colleague?
You look fabulous! Have you lost weight?
Your hair is great today!
Have you been working out? You’re looking toned.
By focusing on how someone looks when we compliment them we are telling them that their appearance is what we like about them. Think about that for a moment - do you like your friend because he is hot and has good teeth? Do you love your sister because she is skinny and has nice clothes? I am fairly certain if I asked you what you loved about these people the answers I would get in return would be something like ‘he’s hilarious - he always puts a smile on my face’ or ‘she is always there when I need her.’
It is time we stop telling people we appreciate their appearance!
I would like to challenge you - every time you feel the urge to compliment someone on their looks make note of why and try complimenting them on how they make you feel.
To help you get started here are a few of my favorite non-appearance related compliments that you can use to praise others:
You've got an awesome sense of humour!
You light up the room!
Your confidence is inspiring!
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this challenge. I would love to hear how people react.
Changing the way we act can change the world! We can change the world together!
Please like, share and comment using the hashtag #beyondphysicalbeauty
Much love always, Devina Kaur ™ !
